Destruction
by We Can Be Gorgeous
Summary: Angel has a problem, but it's not what you might think. Drama-rama peeps. T


**A/N: Hola world! This is a step away from my usual fluffy super fluff and the usual normal set time and stuff. In other words, this is drama and high school Angel and Collins, kay? And curtain up!**

**Disclaimer: JL why did you leave us so early! You could've done the world great with your brilliance! Those damn doctors…-continues to rant- Oh right. I don't own RENT or Tony. I just am in love with him even if he's Lynn's and I hope she doesn't mind me using him in a passing! :D**

Tom Collins walked down the hallway of his high school, hunting. He scanned the crowd. He saw Mark with his friend, although Maureen was sure that they were dating, Tony. He spied Mimi and Roger shamelessly making out by the latter's locker, until their English teacher found them and lectured them about public decency. Collins chuckled and continued to prowl the hall. He laughed again when he saw Maureen on her knees begging her girlfriend, Joanne, for either something or forgiveness. At last he found his target.

"Hey Collins!" Angel peeped just as he was about to attack her.

"How do you always catch me?" he asked as she spun around and pecked his cheek. He stared happily at her beyond bright outfit of a neon blue skirt with a hot pink shirt and lime green shoes. While most girls would say that the outfit was hideous, Angel always managed to pull off whatever she wore with whatever wig she wore that day. Today happened to be blonde. Collins wrapped his arms around her and they stood there for a moment.

"I'm your girlfriend remember? I know you all too well, honey," she said, going back to put her books away. "So what are we doing tonight?"

"Well, my parents are heading to a wedding in Hartford for the weekend tomorrow so want to come over then? I thought we could watch 'The Breakfast Club' and order a pizza, if that's okay with you?"

"Sounds perfect. I got a load of homework for tonight anyway. I'll call you later, right? I love you," she said giving him a kiss on the lips. He deepened it and laid a hand on her bare leg, just on the edge of her skirt and let a few fingers slid up. She pushed it down, citing the fact that they were in public for her reason, before bouncing off with Mimi to find Joanne and Maureen and then catch the bus to Mimi's house for a study group. Although there was never much studying, as much as giggling and eating junk food while gossiping like mad.

"I swear, the day you and Angel break up is the day the world ends," Roger said, clapping Collins' shoulder, snapping him back from watching Angel walk off.

"Then don't curse us like that, man!" Collins joked. "Let's grab Mark and Tony and ship out."

"Cheetos?" Maureen shouted into the next room from Mimi's kitchen.

"Yes!" was the choral answer she received.

She tossed them onto the table and grabbed four Pepsis. She dropped them into the middle of the small group and they were attacked with such force that a stranger would look at the girls as if they had escaped from the looney bin.

"Math first?" Joanne asked. "It's the hardest and you guys know it."

"Speaking of math," Mimi said. Joanne sighed. And it began. "Mo you're going to love this. I was watching Mark and Tony because they sit in the last group, you know? And like no one ever looks back there and I guess they forgot that I was in that class today because I saw them hold hands the whole time! It was so cute!"

"I knew it!" Maureen cried sending cheeto crumbs flying. "Sorry. But yes! I totally knew it!"

"Honey, you shouldn't rub it in their faces just yet. Maybe they don't want to be out yet," Joanne reasoned.

"Yeah, plus they may win cutest gay couple and steal it away from me and Collins," Angel giggled.

"That is if the school knew you were a guy," Mimi pointed out. None of the kids knew that Angel wasn't a biological girl, but the teachers and staff did.

"I know. You'd think someone would see me in the locker room, but I'm not complaining. They just make fun of my flat chest," she said.

"If you changed in the outer room instead of the bathrooms, but is that all they talk about with you?" the drama queen asked incredulous. "Angel, if I had your legs I wouldn't care if anyone said I was a lizard and secretly green."

"Ha ha," she said half-heartedly. "Thanks Maureen. Can we get to our Geometry homework now? I'm almost flunking."

"Ugh, so am I," Mimi said. "I blame the teacher though."

Later that night, Angel tossed her wig onto its correct stand and stripped to her underwear and stood in front of the mirror. Her hand traced her upper thigh. It was decorated with scars and red gashes. No one but she knew they were there. She knew that if any of her friends saw them, they'd freak out or yell at her or something. It's not like Angel had a problem, she just needed a release sometimes from her life. She sometimes couldn't take it. Like now. She kept thinking about her failing grades, Collins and if he left her, and about the fact that she had to hide the fact that she was a boy. Angel's eyes drifted over to her sewing scissors and grabbed them. She closed her eyes and hissed in pain as the blade sliced through her skin.

She cursed as it bled more than usual. Angel pressed a handful of tissues to her leg and ran to the bathroom, searching for the first aid kit. When she found it she layered the gauze on her self-inflicted wound. She took the rest of the gauze, just in case. Taking a few deep breaths, she quickly changed into her pajamas and climbed into bed.

_That's it. I'm done with this now_, Angel thought as she fell asleep.

The next morning, Angel happily bounced around her room, getting ready for her date with Collins. As she slid on her jeans, however, she noticed that her cut was still bleeding.

"That can't be good," she mumbled. She shrugged it off and changed the bandaging before sliding on a skirt. When she stood, Angel had to grab her bed for balance after becoming dizzy.

Again, she shook it off and threw on her heels and skipped to her boyfriend's house. She smiled widely and knocked on the door.

Collins opened the door and ginned at the sight of his lover in the doorway. "Hey Angel baby," he greeted with a kiss. "You look beautiful."

"I never get tired of hearing that from you," Angel said happily.

"Well come in before the neighbors see and report my illicit activities to my parents." Collins grabbed her hand and pulled her into the living room where the VCR was set up and a pizza sat on the coffee table, awaiting the lovebirds. "Care to feast or watch the movie or both?"

She pushed him onto the couch and climbed on top of him. "None of those." She leaned down and kissed him deeply. She wasn't really planning anything like this, but she couldn't stop herself for some reason. Collins happily went along with her plan. Angel pulled at his shirt and unbuttoned it, but left it on. She felt his hand slide up her dangerously short skirt but didn't think anything of her bandages. Until he felt them, that is.

"Angel, what happened?" he asked pushing her off gently.

"Nothing," she reprimanded. She leaned in to kiss him again, but he kept her at bay.

"That's obviously not nothing. Please tell me what's wrong," he requested tenderly.

Angel stood up in a huff. "I told you it's---" she collapsed onto the couch.

"Angel!" Collins cried. He lightly hit her face. "Please wake up. Angel, please!"

She shook her head. "I'm fine. Can I just have some water, though?"

He didn't even answer. Collins practically sprinted to the kitchen and got a glass and got back to Angel within seconds. "Can you please tell me what's wrong?"

She shook her head again, denying his request.

"Damn it, Angel, would you just tell me what's wrong? I hate not knowing what's wrong with the person I love!" he shouted.

Angel stared at him for a minute before looking down at the glass in her hands. "I can't," she whispered, barely audible to her own ears.

Calming down, Collins sat back down by her and took her hand in his. "I'm sorry I yelled. Really. I shouldn't have, but I'm just really worried. Please?"

She felt her eyes prick with tears. They spilled over as she admitted, "I cut myself."

Collins sucked in air as he took in her revelation. "Do you want to tell me why?"

Taking a few deep breaths, Angel said "Sometimes I feel like I can't control my life so I take it out on my body." She lifted her skirt to show the scars and bandages on her upper thighs. "I started doing it since I moved here as a girl and felt the pressure that came with that. I mean, I wouldn't change it, but I can't take the rumors and stares. People are figuring it out."

Her boyfriend pulled her close just held her. "It'll be okay. We can get you help, alright? I promise, it'll get better." She nodded into his shoulder and held onto him.

Over the rest of the weekend, Angel stayed near Collins as he watched her and made sure she didn't harm herself again. On Monday, he made her an appointment with the school therapist. They stood outside the door, Angel staring at it wearily.

"I don't know if I can talk about this with her," she said.

"You told me. It'll all be okay, like I promised," he said, kissing her. She nodded and went into the small office. The counselor sat in her chair with a clipboard. Ms. Lo was a short Asian woman in a blazer with black pants with a faint pinstripe. She looked up and smiled when she saw Angel come in.

"Hello, Angel," Ms. Lo greeted. "Please sit." She pointed to the couch.

The Latina obliged and said, "I'm not sure how much I'm really willing to share today, but I'm going to try."

"That's all I ask. I'm here to help and listen, so begin wherever you wish," she said.

"It started back when I moved here…"

**A/N: So, I took a step out of the box and I'd like some input for it. Did you like it? Did you hate it? I'm not sure what spurred this story, but I felt it wouldn't go away util I wrote it. So review, pretty pretty please!**


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